![]() Several other parents are there and you become aware that one mother is staring at you. Your eldest child has just started school. ![]() Try the exercise below and write your answers down or make a note on your device: Preparing some responses in advance can help with handling staring. View our confidence-building techniques page to find out how to develop a motto. “I am OK, I am unique, I have lots of positive qualities.”įor this last example, you could use your own personal motto.“Staring is rude and I don’t need to talk to someone who is being rude.”.“I know they are staring but I am going to choose to think about something else, I don’t need to spend energy thinking about someone staring at me.”.“They may be too nervous to ask me a question.”.“They are just curious, maybe they know someone who has the same condition.”.Here are some examples of phrases you might say to yourself: Reassuring self-talk can help you manage your feelings. Sometimes, people staring at you because of a visible difference or disfigurement can be annoying and upsetting. You may decide to move away from the person who is staring because you do not feel comfortable. It is in your power to choose how you will respond to others. This doesn’t mean you are “letting them get away with it”. You might notice people staring at your visible difference or disfigurement and decide that you are not going to respond to them. Others will continue with what I consider to be hostile behaviour, which can be upsetting, but I just think what a waste of time they are! Alison Decide not to respond I work in a shop and find that most people smile back, reply and actually realise that you are “normal”. It is possible to control a social situation where you find people are staring just simply by smiling or saying, “Hi”. If the staring continues, frown to tell them you are not happy.For people staring more persistently, look back and hold their gaze whilst raising your eyebrows as an acknowledgement that you’ve noticed their staring.Look back, smile or nod to show them you have noticed – this may also break the ice.Most people will smile back and then look away. Look back, smile and hold the other person’s gaze briefly.If you would like to, try these tips for handling staring in different situations: Help the person to become aware of their staring You may choose to respond differently depending on the situation and how you are feeling at the time. If you find people staring at you because of your visible difference or disfigurement, the way you respond is up to you. Every day when I leave the house, I need to check in with myself to see how I am going to handle staring or comments. I don’t get to take my scars off and forget about them. People need to be aware of how that makes someone with a visible difference feel – having a visible difference means never having a day off. You may find this reassuring if you see people staring at you.Īlthough it may help to remember that most people are not being unkind and don’t want to hurt your feelings, it can still be exhausting and upsetting to experience people staring whenever you go out.Įvery day, people stare at me. Maybe you could think of a time you were interested, shocked or surprised by someone’s different appearance – it’s possible you were also curious and looked for longer than usual. Most people are not being deliberately hurtful. People might stare, double-take or turn away because they are surprised, uncomfortable or unsure of how to act. People often look longer than usual without realising that they are doing so, to make sense of what they are seeing. Not everyone will have met someone with your condition, mark or scar before – and most of us are naturally curious when we see someone or something new. This in itself can make it easier to know how to react when someone stares at you. It can help to try to understand why people stare at those with a visible difference or disfigurement. On this page, we share some tips and techniques you can use if you notice people staring at you. Many people with a visible difference find that it can be useful to have a plan for how to react when someone stares at you. Staring can be difficult, uncomfortable, distressing or even offensive. Most people with a visible difference or disfigurement are all too familiar with people staring in curiosity or surprise. Working when you have a visible difference.Ending appearance-related discrimination.About visible difference Expand dropdown.Search for something Submit search query Search
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